Monday, March 19, 2012

The Dialog of Divorce

Nine year old Collin asked his father, "When you get married to Mom again, you'll have to move to Redding, won't you, Dad?"

This is why divorce is so traumatic, Jon thought. Kids are incapable of understanding all the ramifications of a relationship gone sour. All they know is that it doesn't feel right when their parents no longer live together. Jon had been through this before with the kids; he knew the dialogue by heart: Mom and I still love each other, but in a different way; divorce means we no longer live together, that we lead separate lives; even though divorce is final, we both still love you and want the best for you.

The discussion was always difficultfor Jon. He struggled to explain himself well, but his attempts never seemed tofully satisfy Shawna and Collin, especially innocent Collin.

That's when Shawna tuned her dad out. Why listen to his attempt at an explanation again? There would be no remarriage, she knew. Her mother had made it clear by moving five hundred miles away, and her father had confirmed it by stating that he was not about to follow her. With the family dissolved for good, why try to make something positive out of it? If Collin needed to hear it again, fine. She did not.

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