Wednesday, August 11, 2010

Strings Attached

I love you if ...” always has strings attached. As long as certain conditions prevail, the relationship is fine. But when expectations are not met, love is withdrawn. Many marriages break up because they were built on if love. When one or both partners fail to perform up to the desired standard, “love” turns to disappointment and resentment.

A male's “love” for a female for several months in the beginning of a relationship may be largely based on if love. As long as she makes him feel good, as long as she dresses to please him, as long as she allows him to enjoy her closeness, he is interested in her. But what would happen to his “love” if she said, “No more kissing, no more hand holding, and certainly no more intense cuddling in the car”? Would he still want to be with her and spend his hard-earned money to show her a good time?

I love you If …” is not true love. If you are in a relationship and sense pressure to perform in a certain way to gain the love you desire, the relationship is not governed by true love. Although it may feel wonderful, it is not true love that lasts a life time.

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