Monday, June 15, 2009

If You Love Me

The pressure line is: “If you love me, you will have sex with me,” or “If you love me, you’ll prove it.” Sex is never a test of love. The true nature of love is seen in how we treat people (1 Corinthians 13:4-7). The result of this pressure is that the person pressured begins to feel that his or her willingness to take the next step into sexual involvement becomes a test of true affection or love for the other—not trust, respect, caring and sensitivity.

Usually the two discover later that what they thought were feelings of love were only charged up sexual sensations and now they must live with the consequences. The “I love you” of one person can be significantly different for another. Sex is often given in the name of love with the anticipation of marriage and commitment. But for the partner, sex might simply be saying, “You’re someone very special,” with no anticipation whatsoever to marry.

That pressure line, “If you love me, you’ll have sex with me,” should be considered in the light of the following replies by teens:

“OK, prove how much you love me by understanding and respecting my feelings.”
“Love or no love, anyway you slice it, it can result in a baby and that does matter.”
“I love you. But I’d feel better showing you in another way.”

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