Wednesday, April 29, 2009

Divorce—It’s Never Over

Last time I said that I believe that divorce has a greater negative impact on a child than the death of a parent. To continue, a second reason I think it is more difficult to lose a parent through divorce than through death is the lack of finality. When a parent dies, it is painful, but the child eventually realizes Mom or Dad is gone and experiences a measure of closure. After a period of mourning, he goes on with his life.

But there is no finality with divorce. It isn’t over in the lives of the kids when the papers are signed. There is no mourning period after which he picks up the pieces, goes on with his life, and begins the healing process. The reality of divorce is that it returns every holiday, every summer vacation, and—for many youngsters—every weekend. The pain of separation goes on and on. Christmas with Mom, New Year’s with Dad, Easter dinner at Dad’s house, Thanksgiving dinner at Mom’s, spring break with one parent and summer vacation with the other. There’s no end to it.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

I agree as a now single mom to three lovely daughters who dad is out of picture of the time they suffer more then if he died... now is out of their lives by his choice.. it is pain I wish on no child.
Divorce is an adult choice that is inflict on kids, it is not fair to them. It is better in many ways he is good, abusive soul he was to all of us, but the pain of the divorce I would have spared my daughters if I could have... divorce is never over.