A Fate Worse than Death

I believe that divorce has a greater negative impact on a child than the death of a parent. When children lose a parent through death, they usually will not feel personally responsible. But when they lose a parent through divorce, they often blame themselves, even though in most cases they had nothing to do with it. Almost every child of divorce goes through life carrying that heavy load of guilt that sounds like this: “Mom and Dad split up, and it’s my fault.”

A boy of ten said to me in all seriousness, “If I had kept my room clean, my dad wouldn’t have left my mother.” I asked him what he meant. He said his dad used to complain (as I think most dads do) that his room was always messy. Then one day his dad and mother separated and the boy assumed it was his fault. I’m afraid this boy will go through high school, college and into a career believing he was personally responsible for the breakup of his parents’ marriage. What a terrible burden to carry!