Thursday, March 1, 2012

Prayers of Protection

This morning, in the first few moments of consciousness from nightmares about her son dying, Stevie dabbed her eyes and nose with a tissue and ruminated on these words: I know the
doctors did everything they could. But did I do everything I could before he reached the hospital? Stevie knew better than to evaluate her parenting at a vulnerable moment like this. Even minor flaws and failures appeared monstrous to her. But she could not completely quell recurrent
yearnings for a second chance with her son. Other parents made much worse
mistakes and their children survived. She knew she could do better if only she
had another opportunity.

A hot shower, a cup of coffee, and several minutes reading her Bible and praying always helped clear Stevie's head after a rough night. At the top of her prayer list this morning were Shawna and Collin, who were in Newport, Oregon, with their father. Stevie welcomed a week to be alone and get some work done, but her maternal concern for Shawna and Collin had risen a notch since Jon's disturbing statement about Juanita Dunsmuir. Stevie prayed that the kids' minds would be protected from any strange ideas their father might try to plant.

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