Thursday, March 4, 2010

It May Be Partly My Fault

Chad just stared into the distance in the ICU waiting room trying to make sense of the horrible wreck that had taken the life of his little brother and best friend. How could it take his mother’s life too? After a few moments of silence, Doug asked, “Anything else going on inside that you want to talk about?" Chad looked away for a moment. Then he answered in a voice he hoped would not carry beyond them. "I think what happened to Mom and Matty may be partly my fault." "Your fault, what do you mean?" asked Doug.

Chad dropped his head. "I haven't been very consistent in my devotions lately. If I had been praying for my family like I should, maybe Mom wouldn't have been in the crash." "Oh Chad," Doug said, "I'm so sorry that you've been bothered by such a thought." Chad went on. "Last night I confessed it to God. I told Him that I would be more faithful and obedient to Him if He would just let Mom live."

At that moment, Ben and Pastor O'Neill slowly entered the room. Chad sensed the news in his father's face was not good. There were only a few tears as Ben reported to those assembled in the room, "Margaret is with the Lord now - and with Matthew." As family members and close friends embraced each other and left the hospital in twos and threes, they seemed sad but relieved and grateful that Margaret's brief suffering was over. But her fifteen-year-old son was struggling with a storm of conflicting feelings. Before leaving the hospital, Doug took Chad aside for one last comment. "None of this is your fault, Chad," he whispered with compassion in his gaze. "But don't worry. I'll be here to help you get through it."

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