Wednesday, January 27, 2010

What Are Emotional Needs?

What are your emotional needs? You may not know how to answer that question. It is possible that your parents and friends are not meeting some of your emotional needs, because they have not identified them either. Just imagine what could happen in your relationships if you could identify some needs, share them with your parents and begin to work with them - instead of against them - to see those needs met. Think how that same process could help clear up conflicts.

Six common emotional needs often go unmet in relationships. They are the need for attention, appreciation, approval, acceptance, respect, and affection. God created us with these needs, and He gave us parents and others to help meet them. Conflicts between people often arise when these needs are neither identified nor communicated. You tell your parents when you feel hungry and in need of food, so why not tell them when you are needy emotionally, so they can better meet those needs? I will expand on the six needs in future blogs.


Anonymous said...

I recently purchased "Undaunted" and watched it after listening to your interview on James Dobson's Family Talk. I am in my late 50s and have known of you for many years. Two questions come to mind. 1. Why did you wait so long to share your story? 2. In your interview you mentioned that not a day goes by that you don't deal with the residual effects of sexual abuse. Would you give examples of that? It may help others to be less judgmental toward victims of sexual abuse. People seem to think that if one has truly forgiven their abuser there will be no more repercussions in ones life. It's already devastating when recovering victims become aware of how they challenge/sabbotage relationships so when others accuse them of unforgiveness it further confuses and complicates relational dynamics. Thanks for your consideration.

Josh McDowell said...

It was difficult for Josh to share his story about his childhood sexual abuse because it is deeply personal. People had told him for years that he should have a movie made of his life. His first thought was that he didn’t want to draw attention to himself, but then he met a man he felt would tell his story in the way it should be told. He knew the part about the sexual abuse needed to be included to help others see the importance of forgiveness. Josh has not gone into detail about the residual effects of sexual abuse other than to say that it continues to bother him if a man puts his hand on his shoulder since that was what his abuser did.