Divorce—Helpless, Betrayed, Alone

Divorce in your family can leave you feeling a wide range of emotions. Here are some of them:

I feel helpless and hopeless. Your parents' sep­aration or divorce may frustrate you because you can do little about it. You can't turn back the clock and undo whatever drove them apart. You can't change your parents' minds about the breakup. You can't mend their relationship. The reality and pain of the situation may leave you feeling helpless and hopeless. If you keep look­ing at the negative roadblocks, you will become more and more depressed. It is important to shift your attention away from what you can't do and focus on what you can do about dealing with your feelings.

I feel betrayed and alone. It is not unusual to experience a sense of alienation and loneliness as a result of parental divorce. You may feel that your parents have betrayed you. You may think No one understands what I'm going through; no one knows how I feel. You may feel alienated from your church. You may feel suddenly distant from your friends, especially those whose parents are still together. You may even feel separated from God. Such feelings may prompt you to withdraw from people. Despite the temptation to pull away from people at this time, you need to talk about your feelings with those who love you, such as your parents and youth leaders.