Wednesday, June 24, 2009

Searching for Intimacy

One reason adolescents rush into sex is the attempt to find intimacy in a relationship. Kids want to feel close to another human being, to make an emotional connection, and to feel especially cared for. Many young people mistakenly equate physical intimacy with emotional or relational intimacy. Getting close in bed or in the back seat of a car makes them think they are really starting to get close.

The excessive sexuality among adolescents indicates our culture’s inability to experience true intimacy. A young person who has been involved sexually with various men wrote: “It is far easier to ‘bare your bottom’ than to ‘bare your soul.’” Emotional contact is the goal; sex is often the means. Obviously, a physical act cannot help someone reach an emotional goal. But for an insecure teenager hungry for intimacy, it seems plausible.

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