Monday, August 31, 2009

Divorce—Don’t Tell Anyone Else

"Mom, I’m going to Natalie's, be back by ten," Jessica called out to her mother on the way out the door. Natalie, who had invited Jessica to church camp a year ago and prayed with her when she trusted Christ, knew only that her par­ents were separated.

"Your parents are getting divorced? Oh, Jessie, I'm so sorry." Natalie's words took Jessica by surprise. There was so much feeling in them, so much love and not an ounce of blame. "Thanks, but it's a secret, all right?" Jessica responded. "But why, Jessie?" Natalie probed. "Because . . . because . . . my family isn't normal, all right? My par­ents aren’t Christians, and I'm not proud of the fact that they are doing this." Natalie asked, "What about Jenny? She's a spiritual big sister to you and our youth leader, and she could probably help you deal with your parents' divorce. "I am dealing with it, Natalie. I'm just deal­ing with it . . . well ... more privately than other people do." "I'm your friend, Jessie, and I'm here for you. But I think Jenny may be able to help you deal with your emotions better than I can." "Emotions? I'm not the emotional one in the family. That’s my sister, Karen." Jessica didn't want to argue with Natalie.

Natalie was silent for a minute then said, "Remember when my older brother was killed two years ago?" Jessica thought about it. "I barely knew you then. It was an accident at work." Natalie nodded. "Skip's death rocked the whole family pretty hard. I thought the best way to handle it was to get back to normal as soon as possible. I didn't realize that there is a natural grieving process I had to go through. Jenny and Doug helped me get my feelings out where I could deal with them." Jessica waited for the punch line, but Natalie said nothing more. She didn't have to. A divorce is like a death, Jessica recited to herself the unspo­ken admonition. You need to grieve it; you need to pour your feelings out to someone who can help you deal with them. Jenny is your spiritual big sis­ter. You need to go see her.

After a few more minutes, Jessica said, "I'd better get home. I'm worried about my younger brother. I need to spend some time with him." Natalie gave Jessica a long hug. "I really hurt for you, Jessie. I'm so sorry you have to go through this." Jessica returned the hug. "Thanks. Thanks for caring." She wanted to think a little more about whether she should tell Jenny about one of the saddest days in her life.


Hno. Huerta said...

Very insteresting beloved brother, I want to see what's next!.
Blessings in Jesus Christ! :D

Hno. Huerta said...

Well, there was something I forgot to comment. It is very difficult for a teenager to be in the middle of a problem like divorce is. I remember that I was 10 years old when I knew something that made me to be in shock, my parent's marital problems. It was horrible, and the worst was when I knew that there were going to divorce. I remember that mom told me "please son, don't tell anyone about this, ok?" And it was very difficult, and most because some of my schoolmates passed also by this situation, some of them since there were young-aged boys, others recently, and I wasn't able to handle this! I mean! I was only a 10 years-old boy! This wasn't good! How can I lead with this?
The truth is that I couldn't that easly, and most because, thought I had some "friends" at schools, I used to feel very alone, I only used to consider my best friend one boy, and, we met (on that time) one year before that... we felt very identified and... I don't remember if I talked to him about that, but, the truth was very sad, because my parents were going to get divorced, and I was going to be separated of my best friend and the rest of my buddies (we moved out to another city).. I would like to say that "And that was the moment I met Jesus..." but It wasn't...
I had to lead with that, my lonleyness, etc... in my heart grew a bitter seed, and there was a moment in my life when I hated my father, but, it passed with the time, and now, thanks Lord Jesus Christ, everything is ok.I got over of that many years before, but I know it was with the help of the Lord.

Lord help us to lead with those situations! :D