Vague Spirituality

"I've got to go," Shawna said. "My mom thinks I only came to say good-bye." "Oh, don't go on that lame vacation with your dad, Shawna," Terilyn, Josie, and Alexis pleaded. "It won't be any fun around here without you." "Don't worry," she said. "I have no intention of getting involved with any guys like we just saw. Besides, I'll be with my dad, remember? Any guy who wants to date me when he's around would have to submit to fingerprinting and a background check."

The girls laughed. "We'll be thinking of you while you're gone," Terilyn said, still smiling. "You do the same, OK?" She glanced over at the other girls, then back at Shawna. "We can stay connected in our thoughts, you know." There was that word emphasis again, something the three girls all seemed to understand but that went right past Shawna. "Sure," she answered. "I'll be thinking of you."

Walking back to her apartment, Shawna frowned. Had she just imagined it, or was there some hidden meaning to the words they had emphasized: wise, mature, guide, connected? She had asked Josie and Alexis what they were doing and why they had not responded when she called them, but their answer was vague—something about meditating—and they had changed the subject before Shawna could pursue it. Somehow Shawna was sure the spiritual experiences Terilyn and the other two referred to had little or nothing to do with what she had been taught in church, but she could not imagine what else they might mean.

Giggling at Pornography

The four girls laughed until their sides ached and their faces were wet with tears. The clip from the video Terilyn had cued up for them was not even intended to be funny. Rather, it was a long, steamy love scene. Terilyn started giggling at the beginning of the scene. "Can you believe it? Guys actually get turned on watching this stuff.

Shawna's hilarity was greatly exaggerated by pangs of guilt and embarrassment. No way would she admit to her mother that she watched this stuff. It was raunchy, the stuff you had to rent from the back room of the video store. But she was not about to be a goody-goody in front of her new friends, who were so fun to be with. And at least they were in agreement with her that they would not want to be involved in the sort of behavior they were witnessing on the screen. I'm so glad my new friends aren't like Destiny or Rik, Shawna told herself. The stuff in this video is the type of thing they used to talk about all the time.

Teacher’s Morals

Jon smiled confidently. Stevie suspected he was ready to spring another trap on her. He said, "What about Ms. Brown, Collin's English teacher?" "OK, I'll bite. What about Ms. Brown?" Stevie asked. "Ms. Brown is single and straight, but she lives with her boyfriend. Does she also get fired as an undesirable role model? Or is adultery a more tolerable form of immorality in North California?

Even though Jon was being kind about it, Stevie was tired of being baited. "I don't know, Jon, but I'm sure that Senator Bellardi does. He's a good man, a God-fearing, Bible-believing man. And he wants what's right for the people of North California."

Jon spoke before she could continue. "I'm not trying to hassle you or confuse you—really, I'm not. I just want you to know what you're getting into. I hope Dan Bellardi is everything you say he is, and I hope he can do some good up here. But right and wrong isn't always so black and white, Stevie. You can't categorically say that all homosexuals and abortion doctors and marijuana growers ought to be arrested or shipped south. I just don't want you to go into this campaign with blinders on."

Assisted Suicide

After a silent moment, Jon proposed another scenario to his ex-wife: “Fred has cancer, horrible pain and says that if you won't help him die, he'll kill himself. Will you turn your back and let him slash his wrists?" "Of course not. I'd be assisting in his suicide by default."

Jon leaned forward in his chair. "Stevie, are you telling me that you'll keep this man in North California against his will, dope him up against his will, and physically restrain him if necessary, all in the name of doing the right thing? Isn't that just as wrong as letting the man die if he wants to?"

Stevie did not know what to say. Her mind was scrambling for an answer. She felt as if she were being backed into a corner. Thankfully, Jon didn't seem to be aiming for the jugular. He was sparring, not arguing. He was trying to make a point, and he seemed rather passionate about it. Finally Stevie said, "Maybe Dr. Smith would be better off in a state that supported assisted suicide."

Mercy Killing Request

Jon started pressing his point with an impish grin. "Let's say that Fred has terminal cancer, horrible pain and no more insurance. That means the state will have to pay for his drugs and hospital care until he dies. Not only for Fred, but for others like him. Your taxes will go through the roof. Will you pay to keep these people alive?"

Was Jon sparring playfully or arguing seriously about Senator Bellardi's platform? At this moment, Stevie could not tell. She gave him the benefit of the doubt. "You can't put a price on human life," she said, returning the grin. "I'll pay the taxes."

Jon pressed on. "But Fred doesn't want the drugs. He wants to die. He demands that Dr. Smith transfer him to a clinic in San Francisco where mercy killing is still legal. If you're the doctor, do you let him go?" "No, that's the same as killing him." "But in South California mercy killing is legal, it's not wrong," Jon insisted. Stevie argued, "It may be legal, but it's still morally wrong to take a human life." Jon nodded, impressed with her argument.

Die with Dignity

Stevie, it sounds like Bellardi's proposed moral legislation could be interpreted as unconstitutional and discriminatory" Jon said. Stevie rolled her eyes. "Yeah, I've heard talk about that,” she replied. John paused. "All right, so let's say there's a physician in Redding—Dr. Smith or something. One of his elderly patients—Fred—has terminal cancer. Fred is in horrific pain, which will only worsen until he dies. He has no family, his insurance has run out, and he wants to die with dignity. So Fred summons Dr. Smith to administer the painless fatal injection. But a new law in North California makes mercy deaths illegal—the senator does intend to abolish mercy deaths, doesn't he?" "Yes," Stevie said firmly. "Taking a human life is wrong. Isn't that what you believe?"

Jon paused thoughtfully then nodded, adding, "At least I think that's what I believe. But let me finish. Dr. Smith is a good doctor. He really cares for old Fred, and he agrees that nothing can reverse the disease or permanently relieve the pain. What should he do?" Stevie answered immediately. "Refuse to administer the injection, because it's wrong."

Legislated Morality

“How does Daniel Bellardi intend to keep North California morally positive?” asked Jon. "Legislation, Jon," Stevie answered, purposely avoiding an argumentative tone. "Every law imported from California will expire here within the next three years. It's part of the resolution. The new North California legislature is responsible for reinstating, replacing, or abolishing each of them. Senator Bellardi will use his political clout to put laws on the books that will encourage moral behavior and discourage immoral behavior. Once the laws are in place, the people who push drugs and abortion and homosexuality and assisted suicide and the like won't want to be here. Shawna and Collin will have the benefit of growing up in a world with a minimum of violence and immorality."

"Legislated morality," Jon summarized. "For lack of a better term, yes," Stevie said. "Toe the line in North California or suffer the consequences," Jon added with a slightly sharper edge to his voice.
"It worked with the Ten Commandments, Jon. Right and wrong were black and white, not a matter of personal preference or public opinion. You have to lay down the law and make it stick. That's Senator Bellardi's vision for the state. If people don't like it, they can leave. "

Modern Sodom and Gomorrah

Stevie looked at her ex and said, "Living in South California was like Sodom and Gomorrah, Jon.” God didn't send the angels there to pray for Lot and his family. He sent them to remove those people from that vile environment. That's what Daniel Bellardi wants to do in North California: provide a positive moral environment for kids like ours. Praying for Dougie, Shawna, and Collin was important, but it wasn't enough. We should have pulled them out of L.A. and become involved with political leaders like Senator Bellardi a long time ago. If we had, maybe our Dougie ..." Stevie did not need to complete the thought. Dougie's overdose had been extremely hard on both of them.

Stevie knew her strong comment had implicated him as a failure with their children. Watching him process her words, she could not read his response. Finally he resumed eye contact. "How does Daniel Bellardi intend to keep North California morally positive? People are people, Stevie. You can take them out of Sodom and Gomorrah, but you can't make them moral."

God's Will and Human Effort

“When the people of North California see Senator Bellardi and Juanita Dunsmuir side by side, it won't even be a contest. During the debates, she won't have her loud music and famous friends along to charm the audience. Her liberal views will sound ridiculous next to the senator's high ideals for this state. I think the election in November will be a mere formality," Stevie said.

Jon nodded slightly. After several moments, Stevie filled the silence: "I believe I did what God wants me to do for the kids by moving up here, Jon. Remember how we prayed together for Dougie and Shawna and Collin when we first became Christians? We used to sneak into their rooms every night while they were asleep. We laid our hands on them and asked God to protect them from the 'nasty old world.' Remember?" She waited for a response.

Jon looked up. "Yeah, I remember," he said, nodding. "At least we did something right back then, didn't we?" "Now I believe our prayers were only the beginning of what we should have done. I think we should have been more responsible about protecting our kids from the evil in the world. I can almost hear God trying to answer us back then: 'Hey, I'm doing my part. But why do you think I put those kids in your hands? Use the brains and resources I gave you to protect them from the evil world.'

Shrinking Lead

Jon asked Stevie, "Do you still feel good about where Dan Bellardi is headed, should he get elected?" "Oh, absolutely," Stevie answered with conviction. "This is a wise, godly man. Can you imagine a state governed by someone who is committed to biblical values? I mean, think of the situation at your school as an example: drugs sold and used in the rest rooms, gay kids holding hands and kissing in the halls, condoms distributed in health classes, kids practicing with them on bananas. That's not going to happen here. Think of how a morally positive environment will benefit our kids. And Senator Bellardi will win the election, Jon. There's just too much prayer and good work going on here for it not to happen."

"I've read that Juanita Dunsmuir continues to gain in the polls. Some writers think she'll eventually overtake the senator." Stevie shook her head. "She's still almost 15 percentage points behind with a little over three months to go. After the debates in September, the margin will widen again—perhaps to twenty or thirty points." "You really think it will?" Jon pressed. "I have no doubt,” she replied with confidence.

Talking to the Ex

Stevie thought it seemed ridiculous for ex-husband, Jon, to get a motel room in Redding when he and the kids would be leaving early the next day for their vacation. So Stevie had offered him the sofa bed in the living room for the night. Jon's initial hesitancy revealed his own sense of awkwardness, but he finally accepted, saying thanks by treating the family to dinner out at the Burger Barn.

After bringing Jon up to date on everything the kids were doing, Stevie expected the conversation to fall off to an uncomfortable silence but it didn't. Jon said, "Tell me about your involvement with Daniel Bellardi." The change of topic surprised Stevie for two reasons. Judging from their limited discussions about North California politics to date, she did not think Jon was interested in hearing about her fascination with Daniel Bellardi. Rather, Stevie assumed that Jon regarded her as something of an idealistic right-wing fanatic for moving up here. Also surprising was the fact that Jon seemed as genuinely interested in listening now as he had been when asking about her work.

Love the Sinner

By his own evaluation, Jon had done well at looking past personality and performance to seeing a real person. Mac, the transient at Denny's, was Exhibit A in his most recent self-evaluation. Didn't I engage him in conversation and buy him a hot meal while everyone else in the restaurant ignored him? Didn't I show the love of Christ to him without judging his lifestyle? Haven't I done this repeatedly for people like Mac?

In the last couple of weeks Jon had realized something: Unconscionable thugs like Eugene Hackett made it difficult to look past the sin to love the sinner. Jon's attitude toward the Eugenes of the world was anything but respectful.

Jon countered Eugene's evil glare with a smile. He said, "Thank God you did miss, Eugene. Good-bye and good luck." Then he left the jail. He wondered how Stevie would respond when he told her what happened at the jail. Would she be impressed at his Christian attitude? Or would she berate him for befriending the man who had almost killed her and Collin? Unsure of the answer, Jon thought it best, at least for the time being, not to say anything to her about Eugene Hackett.

Hate the Sin

Eugene had not asked for forgiveness, nor did Jon expect the perpetrator to receive it graciously, if at all. Jon had come to the jail today to resolve his side of the forgiveness issue. If his action made a difference to Eugene Hackett—and he doubted that it would—all the better.

Jon stood to leave. Eugene turned to him with a leer. "What if I didn't miss? What if I snuffed them? You still say that?" The question was clearly not intended to test the depth of Jon's mercy. It was a taunt, a cruel jab aimed at an open wound.

Jon felt the pain of the verbal blow. He saw the devil in Eugene's eyes. The temptation to retaliate verbally rose like bile in Jon's throat, but he swallowed it. People might be unkind, misguided, disadvantaged, or evil in any number of ways, but they were still people—individuals created in the image of God. Appropriate consequences must be meted out for misbehavior, but those who misbehave must still be treated with respect. Hate the sin but love the sinner. How many times had he heard the pastor and others make that statement?

Forgiveness Offered

"Eugene, I have a couple of things I need to get off my chest. First, I want you to know that I was very angry and upset by what happened to my wife and son on April eighth." Hackett cursed and moved to stand. The husky, middle-aged deputy standing nearby placed a firm hand on his shoulder and forced him back into his seat.

Jon nodded his thanks to the deputy and continued. "We felt traumatized and violated. The injuries to my family, and the mental and emotional pain I suffered because of it, were completely uncalled for. And the realization that they could have been more severely hurt or killed is a—" "So sue me," Hackett spat, adding vile epithets directed at Jon.

Jon saw the deputy flinch, then noticed his nostrils flare and his face redden with anger. "Eugene, you need to know that I wholeheartedly support the criminal justice system and the consequences it may impose for your behavior. The second thing I want you to know is that I forgive you for what happened. I don't hold anything against you personally. In fact, I hope and pray that you come out of this experience a better person. That's all I wanted to say."

Facing the Perpetrator

"My name is Jon Van Horne," Jon said to the perpetrator across from him. He had imagined a number of ways Eugene Hackett might respond to his surprise visit in jail but the kid's response was immaterial to his purpose for being here. Hackett flashed a glimmer of recognition. "Yeah?" he challenged in a so-what tone.

A sudden flash of vengeance within Jon begged for expression. This arrogant, unconscionable jerk had come within inches of killing a nine-year-old boy and his mother. Hackett's only regret, he had boasted during a confession to police, was that he had not wasted someone in the process of shooting up the house. You are an incorrigible young thug who should be locked up and forgotten, Jon wanted to say. But I sure would enjoy knocking some of that attitude off your face before they throw away the key.

Again he corralled his hostility and forced himself back to the point of his visit. Delivering these words was even more difficult for Jon than formulating them. But he knew he had to do it.

"Eugene, I have a couple of things I need to get off my chest. First, I want you to know that I was very angry and upset by what happened to my wife and son on April eighth."

Rattler in Jail

The Los Angeles County Jail housed more inmates than many state prisons. Having cleared security, Jon was admitted to the visitors' area. Waiting for the appearance of the prisoner, Jon marveled at the turnaround in attitude that had brought him here. At first, Jon demanded that the county throw the book at the kid who could have killed Stevie and Collin. He had recognized the suspect from a picture in the newspaper from a robbery: snake tattoos entwining bare arms, the gaunt face, and the hard eyes. His homeys had called him Rattler, but his name, was Eugene Hackett.

In that instant of recognition, the frightening spring break encounter at the rec center was suddenly fresh in Jon's memory. He remembered Hackett's vile taunts, his threatening behavior, the scuffle and fall that had bloodied the kid's face. In Hackett's sick mind, shooting up Jon's house and blowing away anyone inside was somehow justified because of the humiliation he had suffered in the gym at the hands of the recreation director. Jon no longer wanted the county to prosecute Eugene Hackett, he wanted to take care of Hackett himself.

When Eugene Hackett sat down on the other side of the glass and appraised the visitor, his face showed no sense of recognition but the tattoos on his scrawny arms were a dead giveaway. "What do you want?" Hackett sneered. "My name is Jon Van Horne." He waited for the kid to process the information.

Volunteering

Stevie, I'm Eden Hunter-Upshaw. Thank you for coming in." The African-American woman approaching looked every bit as professional as she had sounded over the phone. Stevie suddenly felt underdressed but reminded herself that she was simply offering a couple of hours a week as a campaign volunteer. "Good to meet you in person," Stevie said, shaking hands.

The old downtown department store had been converted into Daniel Bellardi's campaign headquarters, Stevie was impressed. She halfway expected to find a noisy campaign "sweatshop." Instead, the main floor was a maze of well-dressed volunteers quietly going about their work.

After several minutes of conversation, Eden asked, "How would you like to become involved in Senator Bellardi's campaign? Carolyn tells me you've done some writing. Would you consider helping out in our communications division?" We're initiating a weekly, one-page bulletin from the senator to be delivered by fax and email to several thousand supporters and a similar one to ministers—kind of a prayer letter format.” "Like a magazine ad or a radio spot," Stevie interjected. "Exactly. Grab their attention, hit them hard and fast with the hottest topics, leave them with something to think about. That's what your work is all about, am I correct?" "It's what I do for a living," Stevie replied confidently.

Driving home, the prospect of applying her creativity and writing skills to the senator's campaign seemed like a great honor instead of a task—and it sure beat stuffing envelopes. And with Juanita Dunsmuir slowly but steadily narrowing the gap in the polls, Stevie had to do her part for the sake of her children.

We Have the Suspect

Jon went to bed, but before turning out the light, he dialed his home number to check his messages. "Mr. Van Horne, this is Leta Huntsinger with the Los Angeles County District Attorney's office. I'm sorry to disturb you on a Sunday, but I thought you would be interested to know that the Los Angeles police have taken into custody a suspect in the drive-by shooting incident at your residence on April eighth. The young man was apprehended during a gang incident in the Valley. Slugs from his weapon match the slugs removed from your property in April. The gun could have changed hands several times since then, but one of the suspect's 'homeys' slipped up and implicated him in the shooting. I'd like to talk to you before Tuesday morning when the suspect will be arraigned. We need to discuss the procedures and determine your intentions about pressing charges.”

Jon's first reaction was surprise that a suspect had materialized. Drive-bys were conducted by phantoms; few were ever apprehended. Jon's second reaction was toward the faceless individual who had unleashed a burst of deadly bullets, barely missing Stevie and Collin. Of course he would press charges. Kid, he thought, you should thank God above that I'm not the one in charge of your punishment.

Pushing the Edge

There was a new side to Shawna's friends. Underage drinking, apparently condoned—more like encouraged—by a so-called responsible adult. Shawna knew it happened all the time, even among good kids like her new friends. But if her mother ever found out, it would be the end of it. Shawna flashed on a mental picture of her and the beer-drinking girls being caught on the lake by the sheriff. Anticipation of the consequences made her shudder. And who knew where else Terilyn, Josie, and Alexis might push the envelope on the law and drag Shawna into it?

Shawna's mind drifted to another friend—former friend, actually—who had pushed her to the edge and gotten her into a lot of trouble. For all the excitement Destiny brought into her life, Shawna was glad to be separated from her by five hundred miles. Terilyn was not Destiny by a wide stretch, but Shawna sensed in her new friend the same magnetism to the outer limits. Why is there always someone around trying to turn me the wrong way? she asked herself.

A Daring Edge

Shawna's three new friends were so nutty and uninhibited. They were so into having fun together that they did not have much time to be boy-crazy. Of course, they were interested in boys; they had all noticed the hunks at the pool and had commented and giggled about them more than once. But they were not obsessed with them the way Destiny had been. Shawna was glad for that.

Still, there was a daring edge to the girl's' outlook on life, something Shawna just could not put her finger on. Nor could she explain the inner attraction she felt to such excitement. In fact, she was not even consciously aware of it. She knew only that she wanted to stay close to the zany girls who transformed otherwise boring summer days at the pool into wild fun.