If Only I Could ...

Jon paused at the door of Dougie's old room, not daring to enter and risk an emotional breakdown. He had long since emerged from the black cloud of self-condemnation that had dogged him after Dougie's death. He had stoically acknowledged his part in allowing his older son to drift unchallenged into questionable relationships and the drugs that eventually claimed his life. As a result, Jon resolved to remain active in the lives of his other two children. But tonight he felt intense frustration prompted by five-hundred-plus miles of the Californias standing between him and the objects of his resolve.

Jon had not yet been to Redding, nor would he be able to go until the break between sessions at the recreation center. He was already planning to spend nine days up north with the kids, and Stevie had approved the visit. But that was still three weeks off, and Jon was getting crazy to see his daughter and son. If only I could cook Saturday morning breakfast for them again, he thought as he closed the drapes in his bedroom. If I could take them to church and maybe to the park.

Missing the Kids

It had been over five weeks since Shawna and Collin rode away in Stevie's white Cherokee. The weekly phone calls to Redding only seemed to make Jon's loneliness more acute. He not only missed his daughter and son, he even missed his ex-wife. The dissolution of their marriage on the heels of losing their oldest son had been excruciating. Piercing resentment and cutting accusation had slashed them both deeply. Well over a year later, the emotional wounds were not healed, only sufficiently anesthetized and bandaged. The scar tissue would likely never completely disappear. The reconciliation hinted at by well-meaning friends was out of the question after what Jon and Stevie had put each other through. But sometimes, when the pain seemed far away, Jon yearned for the oneness that once characterized his life with Stevie.

Jon cleaned off the kitchen table and wedged the pizza box into the refrigerator. He shut down the house for the night, then headed for the bedroom to catch the midnight news. On the way, he found himself in Shawna's dark, empty room. Standing still and silent for a few seconds, he relived his daughter's infancy and childhood in a flash of unbidden memories. It happened in Collin's room also. The nostalgia materialized as a swollen knot of emotion in Jon's throat. He missed his kids terribly.

Divorced and Lonely

Jon tossed the half-eaten third slice of gourmet veggie pizza into the box. It was a large, deep-dish pizza, enough to feed a family of four. Jon always bought a large one and saved two-thirds of it for microwave lunches. But sitting in an empty house staring at a family-sized pizza with no wife or kids around to enjoy it with him stirred up Jon's feelings of loneliness. The fact that this was a holiday weekend only made things worse.

Moving back into the house had been both a blessing and a curse for Jon. Paying down a mortgage was certainly more satisfying than investing in rent receipts, and the house was more of a real home to him than his old apartment, which he had regarded merely as a hotel room rented by the month. But at times, living in this spacious home without his kids was worse than living in that sterile apartment. Of what value is the space if there are no people to fill it? Why dust, vacuum, wash windows, or rearrange furniture if there is no one to appreciate it? Why even come home after work if only to eat in silence and stare at the walls? Tonight Jon was fresh out of satisfactory answers.

Why Debate Intolerance?

"Dad, if you expect to be so far ahead in September, why challenge Dunsmuir to a debate at all? If the TV analyst Krueger is right, you may risk a big loss only weeks before the election," said Wes.

"Two things," Daniel said. "First, they challenged us. Refusing to respond to such a major plank in their platform might be perceived by the people as weakness. Second, the people of North California must understand tolerance for what it is: total disregard for moral absolutes. When they understand how the concept of tolerance undermines traditional values, they'll be ready to help us outlaw wrongs like abortion and special rights for gays and lesbians. They'll help us make North California a state that welcomes all people who live within the time-honored guidelines of moral decency. "No matter where we are in the polls come September, Wes, the debates will bring out the truth on the issue of tolerance. And the truth always wins out."

Branded Intolerant

Daniel sat up straight, looking at his son, "Let me ask you something about those who preach tolerance: Are they tolerant of those they consider intolerant?" The senator continued without allowing his son a chance to answer. "No! That's where all the love and acceptance and open-mindedness falls apart. They are tolerant of the tolerant, but they are intolerant of the intolerant. Anyone who accepts moral absolutes, right and wrong, is branded as intolerant. “

“If you say to a homosexual, 'I accept you as a person, but I don't agree with your lifestyle,' then your value system—which the tolerance-mongers claim is as valid as any other—is suddenly worth nothing. But it doesn't cut both ways. You can't say that you are tolerant only if someone else's belief system doesn't directly conflict with yours.” That's the fatal flaw in Dunsmuir's argument. And I believe the people of North California will see right through it. To give an extreme example, it was complete tolerance that led to millions of Jews dying in the Holocaust. There was no moral absolute.”

Gaining in the Polls

Watching his father, Wes inquired, "Dunsmuir is that vulnerable on the tolerance issue? I mean, she doesn't stand a chance?"

Daniel turned to Wes again, this time shaking his head. "First, she won't be close enough in the polls for the debates to make a difference. Second, her argument that tolerance is the greatest and most maligned virtue in America today just won't fly in this state. By making tolerance the issue of the campaign and pressing it in the debates, Juanita Dunsmuir is committing political suicide."

"So why is she gaining in the polls?" Wes challenged. Daniel cocked his head and flashed a queer smile. "Weston, whose side are you on?" Dismissing his father's curious suspicion with a laugh, Wes answered, "Your side, Dad, of course. But if I'm going to work in your campaign, I need to know the answers to these questions. If Dunsmuir is already dead meat, why does she continue to gain on you? What fatal flaw do you see that her supporters can't see?"

Tolerance v. Intolerance

“Dad, if Dunsmuir is dead meat in the election for governor, why does she continue to gain on you?” Wes asked. "In a nutshell, Son, Juanita Dunsmuir's campaign will crumble because it is founded on, at best, a partial truth and, at worst, a blatant untruth. The virtue of tolerance she so vehemently promotes is no virtue at all."

After a few seconds, Wes asked, "What do you mean?" Daniel's response was strong, even passionate. "The tolerance movement insists that all value systems, worldviews, and truth-claims are equal. Every individual is free to decide what is right for him or her, and no one has the right to say, 'My way is better than yours.' To people like Dunsmuir, tolerance means accepting the values of others. Right and wrong is not the issue. The most important tenet of tolerance is an open mind, because an open mind cannot hate.

"In other words, you can't say to a woman seeking an abortion, 'I believe in your right to privacy, but you are wrong to have an abortion because you are terminating the life of an unborn child.' Neither can you say to a homosexual, 'I respect you and accept you as a person, but your lifestyle is wrong.' That's being intolerant. Instead we're supposed to say, 'I believe in your right to privacy, and it's okay if you choose to terminate the life of your unborn child' (regardless of your belief system). Neither can you say to a homosexual, 'I respect you and accept you as a person, and it's fine if you want live a homosexual lifestyle' (regardless of biblical teachings). “ To the tolerance crowd, everyone has the right to believe and live the way they choose. They do not believe that there are absolute rights and wrongs. It tends to be more about majority opinion, even if the majority is completely wrong."

Daniel's eyes were locked into his son's, as if waiting for Wes to voice his agreement. Wes only offered a slight nod and said, "Yeah, that's what I've heard."

Tolerance: Winner Take All

Daniel Bellardi was flipping through the TV channels looking for more news on his campaign for governor against Juanita Dunsmuir. The local stations were into sports and weather now, and the cable news stations were on to national stories. Daniel kept rolling through the channels anyway.

"Did anyone talk about the debates tonight?" Daniel asked his son and wife. "Krueger, the guy on KRED, was building them up like the final rounds of a winner-take-all heavyweight title fight," Wes responded, watching his father surf the channels. "Not a bad analogy," Daniel said, more to himself than to his son.

"Krueger said it doesn't matter who's leading in the polls in September. Whoever wins the debates will win the fight by a knockout. He said the topic of tolerance will be the deciding factor. Whoever has the best barrage of punches on that issue will win the fight."

Settling In

Leisurely baking in the early afternoon sun, Stevie turned her thoughts to the reason she had moved to Redding five weeks ago. Amidst the hassle of moving in and getting her advertising business off the ground, Stevie had had little time to follow the campaign of her new hero, gubernatorial candidate Bellardi. News reports showed the state senator still leading in the polls by 20 percentage points. If the trend continued, the two candidates could be sprinting for the finish line neck and neck by November. The remote possibility was disturbing to Stevie.

Stevie had never worked in a political campaign in her life. Considering the candidates in Los Angeles and South California to be only varying degrees of bad and worse, she had little motivation to vote, let alone jump on anyone's political bandwagon. But Bellardi was different. Here was someone she could not only support at the polls but campaign for.

But how could a rank amateur in politics hope to help a major candidate like Bellardi? Stevie intended to find out this Sunday afternoon at campaign rally in Caldwell Park. After all, she had not turned her family's world upside-down to see the moral utopia of North California evaporate before her eyes.