An identifying factor of the culture surrounding our adolescents is the transient nature of American life. We live in a highly mobile society with over 25 million Americans moving to a different home. And when kids don’t experience a secure, stable, predictable home life, they will act out that insecurity in a number of ways. They will test the rules and boundaries imposed on them from the authority figures in their lives—parents, teachers, youth leaders, even God.
People relocate for a variety of reasons: to find better jobs, more favorable weather, lower rent or property taxes; or because they are transferred by their employers. The moving may be from coast to coast or merely from one housing development to another, but the results are the same. Very few people today “put down roots.” But without roots, our young people are vulnerable to drifting in their morals and convictions.
Thursday, November 13, 2008
Wednesday, November 12, 2008
No Moral Absolutes
Do you get the idea that our Christian youth are taking their cues about sexual behavior from the self-centered culture in which they live? Dr. Fletcher reports: [Our students] are still under the influence of religious values but appear willing to compromise their values if an acceptable excuse can be found…
“If you are in love, sex is a natural, meaningful way to express your feeling for your partner.” They reconcile this notion with biblical teachings about love, sex, and marriage by equating love with marriage. If you love someone and are committed to them, it is the same as being married—it is just not official. To them, therefore, a loving relationship and commitment to each other are the necessary preconditions for a sexual relationship…
I ask the students, “How does one make a moral decision?” Their first responses are always quite predictable. First, they say, “Everyone must make his or her own decision.” When prompted to continue, they say, “What is right for one person may not be right for another.” It is my impression that this is the extent of their thinking on moral decision-making. After some discussion to clarify this ethical position, I then ask, “Are there no moral absolutes?” Almost always they say, “No, there are no moral absolutes.”
The post-modern culture is a “me-ism culture”— a preoccupation with self. Today’s adolescents are getting into premarital sex because the culture encourages them to satisfy themselves even when their “me-ism” conflicts with morals.
“If you are in love, sex is a natural, meaningful way to express your feeling for your partner.” They reconcile this notion with biblical teachings about love, sex, and marriage by equating love with marriage. If you love someone and are committed to them, it is the same as being married—it is just not official. To them, therefore, a loving relationship and commitment to each other are the necessary preconditions for a sexual relationship…
I ask the students, “How does one make a moral decision?” Their first responses are always quite predictable. First, they say, “Everyone must make his or her own decision.” When prompted to continue, they say, “What is right for one person may not be right for another.” It is my impression that this is the extent of their thinking on moral decision-making. After some discussion to clarify this ethical position, I then ask, “Are there no moral absolutes?” Almost always they say, “No, there are no moral absolutes.”
The post-modern culture is a “me-ism culture”— a preoccupation with self. Today’s adolescents are getting into premarital sex because the culture encourages them to satisfy themselves even when their “me-ism” conflicts with morals.
Monday, November 10, 2008
The Me-ism Culture: Self Is First
Most people would agree that we are living in a “me-ism” culture, one preoccupied with self. It is clear that advancing and pleasing self is the number-one priority in our world today. A recent survey revealed that teens consider “enjoyment” more important than “helping people” or “pleasing one’s parents.” Our kids are growing up with a warped sense of entitlement which prompts them to demand, “I want what I want when I want it.”
Rampant me-ism has significantly affected the climate of our world’s morals. Kids today simply don’t view morality and values as a couple of generations ago. In an article titled “The Way of the Wise: Teaching Teenagers about Sex,” Paul David Tripp, writes: The view of life from which modern sexual expression emerges holds these “truths” to be self-evident:
· There is nothing more important than the individual. I am self-sustaining and free from any authority I do not choose to follow.
· That the highest of human values and experiences is personal satisfaction and pleasure. I am entitled to my share of pleasure and comfort.
· That I must constantly be vigilant that my “needs” will be met.
· That the most important of loves is the love of self. Without this I will be unable to function.
· That bigger pleasure is better—a constant desire for greater, more effective stimulation.
· That what is important is the here and now, leading to a constant pursuit of instant gratification.
No wonder our young people are out to pursue sex as fast and hard as they can. The present culture has encouraged them to do so.
Rampant me-ism has significantly affected the climate of our world’s morals. Kids today simply don’t view morality and values as a couple of generations ago. In an article titled “The Way of the Wise: Teaching Teenagers about Sex,” Paul David Tripp, writes: The view of life from which modern sexual expression emerges holds these “truths” to be self-evident:
· There is nothing more important than the individual. I am self-sustaining and free from any authority I do not choose to follow.
· That the highest of human values and experiences is personal satisfaction and pleasure. I am entitled to my share of pleasure and comfort.
· That I must constantly be vigilant that my “needs” will be met.
· That the most important of loves is the love of self. Without this I will be unable to function.
· That bigger pleasure is better—a constant desire for greater, more effective stimulation.
· That what is important is the here and now, leading to a constant pursuit of instant gratification.
No wonder our young people are out to pursue sex as fast and hard as they can. The present culture has encouraged them to do so.
Thursday, November 6, 2008
Do As I Say, Not As I Do
A caring youth pastor observes that “there just aren’t many good role models left and very few positive heroes. Because of this, teenagers model themselves after rock stars, movie actors, and athletes. They are being led by people who are incapable of leading, and they are suffering from it.”
The desire for parental role-modeling was expressed by a young teenager who came to a counselor with her parents. The father made a profound statement on “godly parenting” and his daughter replied in all sincerity, “Dad, I wish you could hear what you just said, and do it.” This father later left his wife and children for another woman.
It is not what parents preach that kids hear clearly; it’s what they do. All parents are role models. Modeling is not the question. The question is, "What are they modeling?" Are they dispelling a child’s confusion or adding to it?
The desire for parental role-modeling was expressed by a young teenager who came to a counselor with her parents. The father made a profound statement on “godly parenting” and his daughter replied in all sincerity, “Dad, I wish you could hear what you just said, and do it.” This father later left his wife and children for another woman.
It is not what parents preach that kids hear clearly; it’s what they do. All parents are role models. Modeling is not the question. The question is, "What are they modeling?" Are they dispelling a child’s confusion or adding to it?
Monday, November 3, 2008
The Wrong Piece of the Puzzle
People are trying to put together the jigsaw-puzzle fragments of their lives. What they don’t know is that someone has switched the tops of the puzzle box. In order to assemble the puzzle, we should be looking at the picture of our Creator and the Word of God that points to significance, individual worth, truth, meaning—all the things that give us the dignity God designed us to have. But the pieces given us by our culture—materialism, drugs, and sex—are so dehumanizing and degrading that we eventually quit trying to figure out the puzzle. We lose ourselves even further in temporal pleasures.
Young people looking on feel this confusion acutely. They need role models at home to teach them right and wrong. If they are instructed in the ways of right and wrong but do not see the parents living this way, they will reject their parents’ words as hypocrisy. They need the anchor of God’s truth to make sense out of the mayhem confronting them. They need a basis, a standard by which to make decisions. They need a world view they can put into words.
Young people looking on feel this confusion acutely. They need role models at home to teach them right and wrong. If they are instructed in the ways of right and wrong but do not see the parents living this way, they will reject their parents’ words as hypocrisy. They need the anchor of God’s truth to make sense out of the mayhem confronting them. They need a basis, a standard by which to make decisions. They need a world view they can put into words.
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